perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
