How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
