u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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