This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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