I'm going to jail i love you
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
