you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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