he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
