He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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