My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
