Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
