Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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