Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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