Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
