you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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