I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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