apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
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I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
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put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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