I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
