rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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