I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize