oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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