Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
