Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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