I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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