is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
