Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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