Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
