Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
