Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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