WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
birth control should be required to get into college
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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