I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
