Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
