Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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