Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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