shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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