if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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