My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
