Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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