discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
