I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
