Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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