theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
