I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
