Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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