just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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