haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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