My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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