put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
