I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
