He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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