Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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