I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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