Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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