Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
