i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
