She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
